Determined

I completed the 2nd week of C25k...only to aquire an injury along the way. My left foot (the already injured one) has fallen victim to yet another injury. I'm pretty sure the combination of my compensating for the old injury by overpronating (running more on the inside of my foot than normal), using worn running shoes, running on pavement and adding trail/hill work on the weekends are to blame. It could be worse, though. If I had chosen to start this weight loss journey back in December by running and then injured my foot, I most likely would have given up.

But not this time.

This journey isn't about quick fixes. It's a life change. I'm in it for life. So, although I have to take a break from running, I don't take a break from becoming healthier. I plan on cycling (even though I get bugs in my hair), walking (slower than usual, but walking is better than nothing) and continuing with different workout DVD's--most likely the '30 Day Shred'.

Plus, losing weight and becoming healthy isn't just about exercise, right? It's about eating healthy, too. I definitely don't have this one down. Since I'm throwing all this out there I should fess up. I did binge a few times this week. After I hurt my foot, I became scared. Scared of losing the progress that I'd already made. Scared I wouldn't be able to run, or even walk, for a few weeks. (It hurt that bad, people!!) Scared that I would give up and pig out to the max. Scared of shutting down and ballooning to a record high weight again. I kind of freaked. So, what then? Well, I ate some SunChips. By some, of course, I mean pretty much all. I am grateful at times like these that we (I) don't keep most junk food in the house, and that we have one car which Michael uses. I had no easy access to any other food.

My lesson?? Not learned, but learning.

I truly hate admitting this, because I've tried my hardest to hide it all my life. Yet here I am. Confessing one of my deepest sins and secrets to only God knows who. And why?? Because I need the accountability. And because sin and secrets can't live in the light. Bringing it out into the light exposes it. Sure, it makes me more vulnerable but how will I change when I keep everything to myself?

"..The light from heaven came into the world, but they (unbelieving) loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. They hate the light because the want to sin in the darkness. They stay away from the light for fear their sins will be exposed and they will be punished. But those who do what is right come to the light gladly, so everyone can see that they are doing what God wants." John 3:19-21

This verse is where I am. I don't love food more than I love Jesus. Kind of sounds like a "duh" statement, right? However, when I hide my binging and over eating, I am afraid of being exposed. BUT when I bring all of this into the light, I am being purified of it. I am choosing God over food.

By the way...I am so encouraged by everyone I know who, after reading this blog, has decided to make their lives healthier, too! Keep up the good work. It's so difficult to change a set pattern--be it eating a certain way or not exercising--but it is worth it!!