If I'm going to be honest in my success then I surely need to be honest in my failures. I peeked and stepped on the scale yesterday a.m. only to find myself 1 pound lighter. I admit it-I was very disappointed. Last week I took 2 rest days from the '30 Day Shred' but on the 2 off days I still did some kind of physical exercise. This week Wednesday was my rest day and I definitely needed it because I pulled my heel chord during the jump rope exercise the day before! Oops!! There is no setback like a physical injury. Taking that day helped and it's mostly back to normal-I've just had to go lighter on a couple aerobic exercises.
Now, why do I feel like I failed? It's not just the 1 pound...it's what I did later. I had planned a "toddler Christmas party", so to speak. Last week I went and purchased 5 wooden Christmas picture frame ornaments, paint, glitter, paintbrushes, Christmas table cloth, Christmas cookie ingredients, fish sticks for the kids for lunch and a healthy salad mix for the mommies. Heck, I even put garland up in the bathroom! Yesterday comes and the house was clean, the ornaments and paint had been laid out on the table for a couple of days as a reminder to Liesl that something special was happening on Friday, the cookie dough was prepared the night before and in the refrigerator, and Christmas music was blaring.
Then, one of my friend's called and wasn't coming. I was bummed...pretty hard. My other friend and I rescheduled for later that day and then she couldn't make it. Double bummed. That's when I made the conscious decision to overeat. I brought out the cookie dough and shoveled it in. Luckily for me, it wasn't very good so I stopped...but I was still wanting something. So I ate another serving of the Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf that I had made the night before from 'The Biggest Loser's Cookbook'. Ironic, isn't it?? Later that night, after my meatloaf sandwich and Caesar salad dinner, I poured myself a huge glass of milk, grabbed a handful of cookies and headed for the bed where I curled up and watched 'It's a Wonderful Life'. *sigh*
It's no one's fault that yesterday wasn't what I planned: life happens, but I don't want to resort to food for healing. Food should never be my comfort. Just because I didn't eat all of the cookies, like I would have before, doesn't mean what I did wasn't wrong. I turned to food for comfort instead of turning the The Comforter . That has always been the problem--who do you run to when life happens and you get disappointed?
I may have fallen yesterday but I won't let that fall keep me down. I know Who to turn to to pick me up.
"I know all about the despair of overcoming chronic temptation. It is not serious, provided self-offended petulance, annoyance at breaking records, impatience,etc., don't get the upperhand. No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us: it is the very sign of His presence." -Letters of C.S. Lewis